


accept what is, let go of what what was, have faith in what will be

by fifteen_half



Category: NCT (Band)
Genre: Angst, Gen, Na Jaemin-centric
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-02-04
Updated: 2021-02-05
Packaged: 2021-03-15 14:46:49
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 4,404
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29191014
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/fifteen_half/pseuds/fifteen_half
Summary: “What’s with you today? Are you blaming us for what happened? Is that it? It was just a joke!”Jaemin sighed, “Renjun-ah, we’re all tired. Let’s just talk tomorrow.”“No!” the older boy firmly said, “No one is at fault here. So why can’t you just let it go? You always do. Do you want us to keep on feeling guilty or something? I’ve never known you to be sopetty, Jaemin-ah.”Instantly, all emotion from Jaemin’s face disappeared. Calmly, he turned to Renjun and said, “It’s not about who is or isn’t at fault. No one wanted it to happen. I know that. But,” he said, all the fight from him gone, “Is it wrong to be angry? To feel disappointed? I’m just asking forone day, Renjun-ah. Is it that unreasonable?”“And you know,” Jaemin continued, his entire body expressing defeat, “Just because I always let things go, doesn’t mean I always will.”or; another self-indulgent fic because jaemin is too generous for his own good sometimes!
Comments: 19
Kudos: 64





	1. Chapter 1

It was Renjun and one of their managers who first met the elusive occupants of Unit 701.

“They’re father and son, I think,” Renjun said when they were all eating dinner together, “The dad looked serious but the son seems nice. He smiled at us, at least!”

“Can’t believe the mystery’s been solved, just like that,” Jeno sighed, “Now we can’t scare Jisung with ghostly neighbors or possible murderers anymore.”

“As if I ever believed that!”

Jaemin only listened to their chatter because while he too had been curious why they’d hadn’t seen anyone enter or exit that unit since they arrived, it wasn’t as if it was any of his business. So what if someone wasted their money leaving an expensive apartment empty, right?

But then a few nights later, having volunteered to buy late night snacks from the convenient store across the street, Jaemin was met with a face he didn’t know inside the elevator on his way back. When the young man didn’t press any other floor, Jaemin realized that this was their mystery occupant.

He looked young, around the same age as the hyungs. And he too was holding a black plastic bag that was most likely food as well. He was humming, quite in-tune in fact, and he had a small smile on his face.

Jaemin would recognize that tune anywhere.

“Ariana—,” then he stopped, embarrassed, because he hadn’t meant to say that out loud.

He was heard unfortunately, but instead of wariness he was met with a brighter smile.

“That’s right,” the other said, chuckling, “Was I bothering you?”

Jaemin quickly shook his head, “No, of course not!”

“I love ballads so I’ve been learning to play that song recently. Now it’s stuck in my head.”

So not an Ariana fan? Jaemin was ready to launch into intense discussion if the other boy was.

Before both of them realized it, the elevator had arrived at their floor. Jaemin was about to gesture for the older boy to get off first but before he could, the other laughed and gently pushed him out.

“Don’t sweat it with the formalities. I’ve been away from Korea for years, I don’t expect them anymore. Anyway, you’re 702, right?”

Jaemin nodded, “Yes. If we’re too loud, feel free to bang on our door or something.”

The other boy laughed, “If I ever do, that only means I want to join. It gets a little too quiet, living by myself. Feel free to bang on my door if you need some zen. I think it’s possible to find inner peace in there with how quiet it is.”

“I’ll keep that in mind,” Jaemin replied, chuckling.

Since 702 was nearer the elevators, the older boy nodded to him when they reached it.

“It was nice to finally talk to another person face to face,” he sighed, then he laughed and held out his hand, “Han Minjun, 25, temporarily living solo in 701.”

Jaemin shook the hand with an amused smile, “Na Jaemin, 21, currently living with three loud children and two adults in 702.”

“Have a pleasant evening, Na Jaemin-sshi,” Minjun waved, as he walked the other end of the hallway where 701 was.

“Good night, Minjun-sshi,” he said with a small bow, “It was nice meeting you.”

Jaemin was in a good mood as he entered the dorm. But that mood instantly dropped when he saw his friends already eating.

“I thought you guys wanted ramen?”

“We couldn’t wait,” Renjun replied, around a mouthful of rice he had made before they all suddenly realized they wanted ramen instead, ramen that they didn’t have, and that he eventually volunteered to buy because they asked, because they all looked tired from schedules and Jaemin wanted to let them rest.

“What about the ramen?” he asked, holding the bag up.

Jeno waved it off, focused on eating his own bowl of egg fried rice, “We can just eat it tomorrow, Jaem.”

“Yeah hyung, come sit with us and eat,” Jisung said, making space for him at the table.

He had been hungry then, but now he was just tired.

“No, it’s okay. I ate a sausage on my way back,” he lied, “I’m just gonna sleep now.”

“You sure, Jaemin-ah?” Jeno asked, and then he narrowed his eyes at him, “You just want out of cleaning duties, don’t you?”

“Yah, I wasn’t the one who whined about being hungry.”

“And I didn’t ask for you to cook!” Jeno rebutted.

Jaemin didn’t even bother to answer that because they all knew that he was the only one willing enough to cook at eleven o’clock at night. After a full day of schedules.

So he turned his back to them and said, “I’m gonna sleep. Good night!”

Settling down on his bed, Jaemin sighed.

It would be nice if they showed him some consideration too. He didn’t know when it started or how it happened but, for some reason, his friends all thought that he would always let things slide, no matter what it is they do. Always.

If he let his irritation show, if he complained, instead of apologizing they’d either think he was being funny or think he was being unreasonable.

They hadn’t done anything that he couldn’t forgive though. But even tiny things could turn into something big when piled up. And Jaemin was getting tired of his feelings being an afterthought.

As the sound of loud laughter reached his room, Jaemin covered his ears and groaned. Han Minjun was practically a stranger but he was seriously thinking of accepting the older boy’s offhand offer.

The thought of peace and quiet sounded very appealing to him right now.


	2. Chapter 2

Jaemin allowed himself to be engrossed as he watched Jeno and Jisung's intense video game battle but time was ticking and he couldn't hold it in any longer. He took a deep breath, and for the nth time that hour, said, “Jisung-ah, hurry! We’re leaving in twenty minutes and you’re still playing that game! You too, Jeno-yah! Set an example, will you!”

Despite his harried tone, Jeno only laughed in response. Jisung, on the other hand, whined as he continued to play, “Hyung, I know! I’m only gonna change clothes anyway!”

“Jaemin-ah, let them be,” Renjun called out from the kitchen, thankfully already dressed, “We’re always late anyway, I’m sure they’re used to us by now.”

It was a usual company dinner, where all NCT members and staff would gather and eat. And while Renjun was right, they were notorious for being late, Jaemin had been looking forward to going to this restaurant because of its unique decor and ambiance. He thought it would be great if he could take pictures of the members there and share it with the fans. He’d even asked them if they could come early beforehand, hoping to use that time to take a few shots.

Despite their promises though, the game was apparently more important.

Displeased, he rolled his eyes and announced, “I’m gonna take a nap in my room. Come get me when we leave, okay?” Expectedly, no one answered. When he asked again, the response he received were unenthusiastic agreements.

Shaking his head in exasperation, he went to his room and slept.

If only Jaemin hadn’t slept, if he’d woken up earlier, if Jisung and Jeno had just gotten ready when he’d asked, the following events would never have happened. 

Jisung was about to wake Jaemin up when an irate manager barged into their dorm and demanded why they weren’t ready yet. Stunned, no one was able to reply.

The manager looked around the room, didn’t see Jaemin there, and assumed, “Is it Jaemin again?! Aish! Where is he? Still in his room??”

If it were any other manager, they would’ve been able to explain properly. But the manager who came was one they weren’t familiar with and held a higher authority than the managers they stayed with. He was also infamous for his short temper so no one, not even the managers with them, could speak up.

“Well?”

“W-we were about to wake him up, sir,” Jeno answered.

That was the truth. Jaemin was ready, they only had to wake him up. 

Unfortunately—

“Wake him up? He’s still asleep now?!”

“No sir, it’s not like that—,”

“Everyone, out!” the manager demanded, his voice brooking no argument, “That boy has to learn we can’t wait for him forever. Since he likes his sleep, then we’ll let him sleep.”

“But sir,” Renjun tried.

“No buts. Everyone out! Or one is coming at all.”

Unable to refute the senior manager, Jaemin was left behind.

When Jaemin woke up, it was to the sound of his phone pinging nonstop. Someone was sending a flood of messages.

Blinking at his phone blearily, he read the most recent message. It was from Donghyuck.

_ㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋ  
_ _can’t believe you got left behind!! this is legend!!_

Left behind?

Instantly awake, he raced out of his room to find the apartment completely empty.

Unlocking his phone, he began to read his messages. The most recent ones were from Donghyuck and Chenle, both of whom were laughing at his predicament. The earlier ones were from Jisung, Renjun and Jeno, all of which were an assortment of ‘sorry!!!’, ‘the manager was so angry, we couldn’t explain’ and more ‘we’re really, really, really sorry’.

At least Mark was nice enough to send a ‘tough luck’ in sympathy.

Jaemin really, really, really wanted to throw his phone against the wall in frustration. Everyone knew he was looking forward to this. He’d gotten ready on time, had reminded Jisung and Jeno to get ready multiple times. He was pretty sure he’d annoyed them too and yet…!

It was unfair.

Jaemin really, really, _really_ wanted to be petty but he already understood that this was no one’s fault. Not the members, not the managers, and definitely not his.

Sighing deeply, he sat heavily on the couch and typed, 

_you guys better bring me takeout when you get home!!!  
_ _i’ll sabotage your game and murder renjun’s plant if you don’t!_

He was unsurprisingly sent a flood of messages in reply. Not in the mood to deal with his friends, he just browsed all the messages and sent another warning not to forget.

Locking his phone and setting it aside, he decided to deal with his grumbling stomach in the meantime. Too lazy and too hungry to cook, Jaemin decided to buy something from the convenience store instead.

Perhaps it was coincidence or maybe it was fate, because the moment he went outside, Han Minjun just happened to be passing by with a bag of what could only be yangnyeom chicken.

Instead of a proper greeting, Jaemin couldn’t help but say, “That smells so good.”

Fortunately, Han Minjun didn’t take this rudeness against him and simply laughed in response.

Jaemin ducked his head in embarrassment and gave a proper greeting this time, “Good evening, Minjun-sshi. Sorry about that.”

Minjun waved Jaemin’s worry away, “It’s fine, it’s fine. We’re just a few years apart anyway. And the chicken does smell good!” Noticing his get-up, the older boy inquired, “Are you going out to meet up with friends?”

Jaemin grimaced and shook his head, “Honestly? We were supposed to have a company dinner today but I got left behind. I’m too lazy to cook and too hungry for just instant ramen, so I’m on my way to the convenience store to buy something to eat.”

“Left behind?” Minjun frowned, not liking the sound of that, “Why would they do that?”

“Just a misunderstanding,” Jaemin assuaged, even though the thought still irritated him, “I took a nap ‘cause some of the members weren’t dressed up yet. A manager thought I was the reason why we were running late—I’m usually the slowpoke, you see—so they left me behind.”

And because Han Minjun still looked unconvinced, Jaemin added, “It’s not a big deal, really. We have company dinners at least once a month. It’s voluntary and it’s rare for everyone to be present. I’m just really unlucky this time.”

“Maybe, but maybe not,” the older boy replied. Smiling, he raised the bag of yangnyeom chicken and said, “I had to order a lot because of the minimum delivery amount so this is too much for one person. My pups are wonderful company, but I would love to have an actual conversation for once.”

Minjun must’ve seen the hesitation on Jaemin’s face because he quickly added, “Only if you’re allowed to, of course. I just learned from 703 that you’re idols. I know companies can be strict so if you’re not allowed to, I’ll just split the box between us.”

SM wasn’t that strict, truthfully. The only reason why Jaemin was hesitating was because he barely knew Han Minjun. Jaemin didn’t like to put himself in uncomfortable situations if he could help it and he feared he’d be putting himself in one since he didn’t know Minjun at all. What if they had nothing in common and they spent their dinner eating in silence?

The puppies though—surely, anyone who cared for animals must be good people, right?

Also, he didn’t want to return to their apartment just yet. He didn’t want to be reminded that he’d been left behind. Taking a gamble, Jaemin replied, “It’s fine, Minjun-sshi. If you’re okay with me, then who am I to refuse a free dinner?”

Minjun laughed, “Come on then, 702. I’m famished!”

Jaemin’s fears of Minjun being a hidden serial killer to Minjun being an awkward conversationalist remained unfounded. After getting over the initial awkwardness of first meetings, Jaemin found that he was genuinely enjoying the older boy’s company. He was attentive, even when he didn't know the topic. He listened and welcomed Jaemin to speak comfortably. He was very considerate too, as the older boy tried to avoid talking about what might make him upset—for example, that he was left behind—which, Jaemin was actually sort of okay with, now.

Of course, Wangja and Wonsungi, a labradoodle and a shiba inu respectively, helped a lot. They were incredibly friendly and adorable, and meeting them had significantly boosted his mood.

“Wangja’s name was actually something else before I adopted him,” Minjun was saying, both of them were having coffee now after consuming all of the chicken, “But he didn’t respond to that name at all. I called him _wangja-nim_ for fun and then to my surprise, he went to me with his tail wagging! That was the moment I knew I had to adopt him.”

“What about Wonsungi?” Jaemin asked, “And why did you name him ‘wonsungi’ in the first place?”

To that, Minjun laughed loudly, “When I was young, my friends and relatives called me ‘wonsungi’ because I apparently looked and acted like one. So when my mom said that the puppy acted like me, that was what I named him. He liked it so,” the elder boy shrugged, “That became his name.”

Jaemin couldn’t help but send a judging stare. Who names their dog a different animal? Even naming him ‘dog’ would’ve been better.

Setting aside Minjun’s horrible naming sense, Jaemin hugged the shiba inu who had sat beside him both in sympathy and pure endearment and asked, “Minjun-sshi, do you mind if I visit again to play with the puppies?”

Minjun readily agreed, “Sure! Feel free to come anytime. I’m usually always at home anyway, since I work online. Heck, feel free to stay here all day long, I won’t mind. My pups won’t mind either. They like you! More than they like me, it seems,” he scowled, staring as Wonsungi burrowed his head against Jaemin’s stomach.

Jaemin laughed, “Thank you, Minjun-sshi.”

“Feel free to call me ‘hyung’ too,” the elder boy offered with a smile, “‘Minjun-sshi’ is too formal.”

“Are you sure?” Jaemin asked. When Minjun nodded, Jaemin said in return, “Then please call me ‘Jaemin’ too.”

“Great! And hey, by the way,” he said, gesturing at the clock behind Jaemin, “It’s nearly midnight now. You didn’t tell anyone you were here, did you?” he laughed, “If a cop bursts in here, I’m giving you up right away, okay?”

“Wow, I can feel this is a start of a great friendship, hyung,” Jaemin deadpanned. But then he sobered up, “But yeah, I guess I better return. I need to save you from a lifetime in prison, after all.”

“Thank you, Jaemin-ah. I’m so touched,” the elder boy sniffed, wiping non-existent tears from his eyes.

Ignoring the elder boy’s actions, Jaemin hugged Wonsungi one more time before he stood up to leave.

At the door, he petted both puppies, then smiled at the elder boy, “I had fun, hyung. Thank you for the meal.”

“It was my pleasure. Thank you for the company too,” Minjun replied. Reaching out, he ruffled Jaemin’s hair and said, “And hey, I meant what I said earlier. The door is always open for you. Good night, kiddo.”

“‘Kid’? You’re not that old yet.”

“I’m still older than you so deal with it!” Minjun laughed.

When Jaemin returned, everyone was back but no one was surprised he was out. One of the managers did scold him for leaving his phone, but that was it.

“Hyung!” Jisung greeted, with a smile on his face that meant trouble, “Come eat! We brought you the restaurant’s best seller.”

Instantly suspicious, Jaemin frowned as he followed Jisung.

Jisung must’ve noticed this because he laughed, “It’s really their best seller, hyung.”

“Jisung-ah, if this is a joke I swear I—,”

“Oh come on, Jaemin-ah,” Renjun cut in with a huge grin on his face, “Don’t you trust us? You asked us to get you takeout, and that’s exactly what we did!”

And they did. There was a bag on the table. Jeno was there too, taking out spoons from the cupboard.

“Sit sit, Jaeminnie,” he said, “We had this at the restaurant and it was really good! We bought for each of us so we can all eat together.”

That was nice of them, to accompany him as he ate. So he let his guard down and sat, happy at his friends’ consideration.

But then Jeno took out a bowl of bingsu. And Jisung and Renjun were both grinning like crazy and he just _knew_. When Renjun pushed one towards him, Jaemin instantly smelled the milk.

“Guys,” he started.

“You just said you wanted takeout,” Jeno explained, laughing, “So we bought takeout for you!”

“Was there really no other choice there?”

“But this is their best seller, hyung,” Jisung said, obviously feigning innocence, “Their other best sellers are too heavy for late night snacks. We were worried you wouldn’t be able to sleep if you ate something heavy before bed.”

Jaemin sighed, his irritation beginning to skyrocket.

“Was it Hyuck?”

They laughed and it was all the answer he needed.

Buying something he couldn’t eat… Takeout was the only thing he asked for. It was no one’s fault but, didn’t they feel sorry at all, that he was left behind even though he'd told them over and over and over again how much he was looking forward to it?

He stood up. When they laughed even harder, he turned his back against them and left without a single word. Instead of heading to his room though, he went to one of the managers staying with them and asked, “Hyung, can I go out for a while? I’ll be back, I promise.”

Receiving the manager’s permission, and a soft pat on the back in sympathy, Jaemin went out and headed straight to Unit 701.

“I need some peace and quiet, hyung,” he said by way of greeting, “Do you mind if I stay here for a bit?”

Something must’ve shown in his expression, or maybe because he just looked as tired as he felt, because Minjun smiled at him softly and ushered him inside without asking why.

“Thanks, hyung.”

“Like I said,” Minjun replied, “The door will always be open for you.”

Jaemin only returned when he’d received a message from one of the managers to come back. Upon entering their apartment, he quickly passed the living room and went straight to his room, intentionally ignoring everyone’s stares.

As he was pulling out some clothes to wear for sleep, someone knocked on his door. Expecting a manager outside, because his friends certainly never bother to, he was surprised to see that it was Jisung instead.

The maknae looked guilty.

“Yes, Jisung-ah?”

Jisung flinched, “Um, hyung. Are you… mad at us?”

Did they even have to ask? Wasn’t the answer obvious already?

“I don’t know, Jisung-ah,” he said in reply, “If you were in my place, would you be mad?”

“Um… yes, but—,”

Jaemin had no intention of hearing Jisung out tonight. He was tired and he was afraid he would say something he didn’t mean. So without letting the maknae finish, he went back inside his room, grabbed his towel and clothes, and bade Jisung to step aside.

“Hyung—,”

“I’m sleepy, Jisung-ah. Let me take a bath.”

“...then, after?”

Jaemin shook his head, “Tomorrow.”

“But—,”

“I said,” Jaemin gritted out, unable to contain his frustrations any longer, “Tomorrow, Jisung-ah.”

Before this, Renjun and Jeno were hovering somewhere behind Jisung, most likely for support. So at the sight of Jisung flinching, Renjun stood up and spoke, “Jaemin-ah, come on. We all feel bad about what happened. Just hear us out. Please?”

“I will,” Jaemin agreed, “Tomorrow.”

He tried to go to the bathroom, but was blocked by an apologetic looking Jeno. “We’re really sorry, Jaeminnie,” he said, “I know you were looking forward to it, and I’m really sorry that you couldn’t go, but we really didn’t mean to leave you behind. We’ll never do that to you. You know that.”

Jaemin closed his eyes and grimaced. With a pained smile, he told Jeno, “I know.”

“So?” Jeno asked, smiling hopefully, “Are we okay?”

Chuckling mirthlessly, Jaemin shook his head, “Tomorrow, Jeno-yah.”

“Yah, what’s with you today?” Renjun frowned, his voice starting to rise. Renjun had never claimed to be the patient kind. “Are you seriously blaming us for what happened? Are you mad we got you bingsu with milk? Is that it? It was just a joke!”

Jaemin sighed, “Renjun-ah, we’re all tired. Let’s just talk tomorrow.”

“No!” the older boy firmly said, “No one is at fault here. So why can’t you just let it go? You always do. Do you want us to keep on feeling guilty or something? I’ve never known you to be so petty, Jaemin-ah.”

All emotion from Jaemin’s face instantly disappeared. Calmly, he turned to Renjun and said, “It’s not about who is or isn’t at fault. Of course I know you didn't mean for that to happen. I _know_ that. But,” he said, all the fight from him gone, “Is it wrong to be angry? To feel disappointed? I’m just asking for _one day,_ Renjun-ah. Is it that unreasonable?”

Renjun couldn’t say anything because of course it wasn’t. It was normal to feel negatively when slighted. It’s just… Jaemin had always been so quick to forgive. They were expecting Jaemin’s easy-going nature that when it didn’t happen, no one knew how to react.

“And you know,” Jaemin said, his entire body expressing defeat, “Just because I always let things go, doesn’t mean I always will.”

When Jaemin pushed forward, he was met with no resistance.

The following morning, Jaemin woke up late. They had no schedules that day so he stayed in bed longer, too lazy to move around just yet. By the time he got up, mostly because his bladder was too full to ignore, it was nearly lunchtime.

Blearily, he went outside to head to the bathroom. But when he did, the room instantly fell silent.

That was when he remembered what happened last night.

He looked at his members, saw their guilty faces, and sighed. Gesturing for Jisung to come, he said, “Come here, Jisung-ah.”

Jisung quickly got up and practically ran towards him. Since the maknae looked like he was about to cry, Jaemin chuckled as he gathered Jisung into his arms.

“I’m so sorry, hyung,” Jisung mumbled against his shoulder.

Patting Jisung’s back, he smiled, “I’m sorry too, but that joke of yours was uncalled for.”

Both Renjun and Jeno were beside Jaemin now and they too looked sincerely apologetic.

“That was mean of us,” Jeno agreed, messing up his hair in shame of himself, “We must’ve lost our minds or something. But hey, um, you did have something to eat yesterday, right?”

Jaemin frowned at Jeno’s needless worry, “Do you think I’m a kid? Can’t buy food on my own?”

“No but, maybe you were waiting for us?”

“Are you serious?”

“We get swayed by Donghyuck too much,” Renjun sighed, shaking his head, “It was all just fun and games to him but we should’ve known better. We knew how much you wanted to go there and we should’ve been sympathetic that you hadn’t but we didn’t. I promise, Jaeminnie,” he said, determined, “That won’t happen again.”

“If you still want to take pictures, we’ll do that too, promise,” Jisung offered, smiling wetly at him, “Just let us know.”

Chuckling at their hopeful faces, he smiled, “Guys, you don’t have to do that. It’s done. We’re fine.”

Jisung pouted, “But we want to make it up to you, hyung.”

“And you have,” Jaemin replied, “I can smell my favorite coffee. You bought that for me, didn’t you?”

“And the desserts you like too,” Jeno added, “We’ll order malatang later too.”

Jaemin shrugged, “Then we’re good. I’m fine, honestly. I just needed a moment, that’s all.”

“Why? Do you think we can’t keep our promises?” Renjun asked in mock offense, “Do you not trust us at all?”

“No, but it’s a hard promise to keep,” Jaemin laughed.

“We let you take our pictures all the time, yah!”

“Yeah, after whining to me about it,” he replied, “But that’s not what I meant,” when Jeno was about to ask more, Jaemin clamped Jeno’s mouth shut and said, “Sorry, Jeno but I really need to go to the bathroom. My kidney’s gonna burst!”

“Yah, Jaemin-ah!”

“Thanks for the coffee! I really appreciate it!”

Jaemin had never been the type to stress about something for a long time. To him, this matter was over. And as for the promise they made, well…

**Author's Note:**

> send me jaem-centric angst prompts, maybe i'll write it in a fic one day~  
> [cc](https://curiouscat.qa/aswellinthesea) | [twt](https://twitter.com/aswellinthesea)  
> 


End file.
